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View Profile varunvaid95
I really have no clue what the hell to write here. I mean, it should be funny, but there should be something about yourself in there; something really deep, yet ridiculously funny. That's hard, and I just have NO clue what to write. Oh look, I'm out of-

Age 42, Male

ZOMgz y d0 u c@r3!?!

*look at occupation*

Where I am now.

Joined on 12/20/07

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I writes this.

Posted by varunvaid95 - July 29th, 2008


NOTE
THIS IS A FICTIONAL STORY
IF YOU HATE FICTIONAL STORIES THAN YOU ARE VERY STRANGE
DO NOT HATE ME JUST BECAUSE I POSTED THIS

Lego My Eggo REMIX
By Varun Vaideeswaran
Monday July 14, 2008
It was a warm day as my plastic feet fit snugly into the raised circles on the floor. I turned my head, gazing at things through small white circles painted onto my head. I looked around, noticing the Lego blocks stacked upon one another to form a building. It was a construction set with a big yellow crane with a black rope attached to it that goes up and down when pulled, some buckets of makeshift sand, and a truck, four times my size.
I was Spider-Man... Lego Spider-Man.
My design was simplistic. Red and Blue paint, webbing imprint, and a classic spider on my chest. I decided today that I would stretch my joints. The construction site was built on the carpet floor near the door. My owner had left some crafting supplies near the construction site. I ran up to the very edge of the play set and kicked over a nearby bottle of glue. The cap flew off, revealing the sticky substance inside. I was afraid as I approached it, because it was more than quadruple my height! I gingerly dabbed my hands in glue. Now I could stick to the sides of the play set. You see, when you're a Lego figure, you need to be smart to survive. I specifically used glue that was old, so that it would stick, but I could still remove my hands from the wall. I climbed up the wall and crawled to the crane. I stood at the top. I could see my owner's room very clearly. There was a gigantic bed, and a computer sitting atop a black desk. It was a PC. I prefer Macs, not that I use them. I mean, have you seen those ads where one guy is the Mac and the other is the PC? The PC is a nerd! Mac looks cool though. I wish I could use one, but they're as big as a whale to me. It takes all of my power to hit one key!
I noticed a square on the floor of the set. It was a yellow square with little depressions in it. It was about the size of my hand. That's microscopic to humans. It was an Eggo waffle! I leaped from the crane, wind bouncing off of my plastic mask. I landed on the floor, next to the food. My hand had come off. I reached for it with my other hand and reattached it with a snap. I glanced at the succulent food. I reached for it. If I had a mouth, it would be watering! Just then, a big brown hand squeezed me and lifted me, three whole feet from the floor! (That's a lot, okay?) I looked at my owner, his glasses reflecting the light onto my face. The Indian boy took me to his desk, far away from the play set. I heard him speak in the strange dialect that humans do. I have earned to understand their voice. He said, "Hey dad, where's the video camera? I want to make a movie using the Spidey figure!" He dropped me next to his keyboard and left the room. He could be a real nuisance sometimes!
Looking around, I tried to decipher how I could get to the construction set. I saw a pencil nearby. Of course! I could pole vault across the room, spanning about seven feet, using the miniscule strength of a plastic two-inch figure, landing perfectly on the play set! I threw the pencil to the ground as I discarded that idea. Perhaps I could just jump. But that was even stupider. I saw a handkerchief about three times my size. I could sail over to the waffle! I grabbed both edges, ran off the desk and sailed. The wind pushed at the handkerchief, making me slowly and gently descend. I was at the set with incredible ease.
I almost touched down when a black figure ripped through the tissue! It was Venom, a twisted design of myself, however bigger he may be. His sharp, mangy teeth were locked in a permanent grin. I crash-landed onto the floor. I knew that Venom wanted the waffle as much as I. He dashed at me, but I grabbed him and threw him to the floor. He kicked me, sending me to the top of the construction crane. He soon appeared beside me. The crane hovered above the carpet that we were built on. He was a real powerful Lego! He lunged at me, but I dodged him and gave him a shove. He landed in the carpet. He attempted to stand up, but all Lego figures know that to stand, you need those little holes that your feet fit into. I looked up when I heard the thunderous boom of my owner's steps. He picked me up again! Then he ripped off my entire body! I was just a head! Then he attached the body and legs of New Goblin, another figure that came with the set. My body and feet were sleek black with a green tinge. He had weapons on his back, like a silver sword, with a green glow. I felt strange. Then he ripped the right hand off of Venom who went limp. He attached it to me. Oh no I was part Venom! My right hand was purple and black, with silver webs covering the arm. I also got Sandman's left arm, which had he sleeve of a green striped shirt. However, his fist turned into a sand mace!
I had changed! I was Lego Spider-Man no longer! I was Fusion! My owner than put me back on his desk and started filming me. It was in a very peculiar fashion. He would move me a little, then start and stop the camera. He kept doing this for a while. He grinned as he left with the video camera. I had no idea how to get the waffle now, because I didn't even have a handkerchief. However I saw a remote controller on the desk beside me. It looked like it controlled three things. Scanning the room, I saw a big red monster truck toy, and a green and blue one too. I skillfully used my Sandman and Venom arms, which both were heavier than mine to use the remote control. I had eventually lined up the cars vertically to make a sort of steeping stone. I leaped onto the red car, which was right under me. Then I jumped right onto the hood of the green car, which was an inch away. I maneuvered my way onto the blue car and back on the set. But I realized, to my horror, that that waffle was attracting a lot of attention. I saw another figure, a human. He had long black hair, a moustache, and a beard. He sported a red bandanna and a brown pirate hat. He wore a black jacket over his clothes.
I recognized him as the wily Jack Sparrow from the Black Pearl set! He could be very annoying. He had the waffle in his hand! I leaped at him, but he grabbed the rope dangling from the crane and gave it a tug. I crashed into the wall of the set as he skyrocketed upwards. Once atop the crane, he kicked over a nearby bucket of makeshift sand at me! I leaped out of the way, faster than normal because of New Goblin's lighter legs. Sparrow then removed the pieces that were keeping the crane high up, as it tumbled down toward me! I could not dodge; I was crushed as the crane smashed into hundreds of Lego pieces. I got up, realizing that some of the paint on my body had been scraped off! I was aghast! In rage, I kicked over the support beams for the building Sparrow was standing on, defeating him in the same way I defeated Venom. Sparrow bounced off the carpet and landed back in his giant black ship with scary black sails. I grabbed the waffle from the floor as I tried to take my mask off. Then I realized... My mask was my face. I had no jaws. I had no stomach. I had no mouth! I felt devastated.
I sighed as I almost comically collapsed from fatigue. Man, I hate being a Lego figure!

THE END


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